SERVING CHICKEN SALAD WITH A SIDE OF BLACK PAIN FROM YESTERYEAR

That’s the selling point of Summerhill, the latest turd bowl eatery to be patronized by gentrifying, hipster doofuses. Based in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, the restaurant has been making waves lately as long time residents have gotten hip to the their brand of insensitive. , racially charged nostalgia.

Boasting of old bullet holes in the building’s structure and serving wine in containers resembling forty ounces of malt liquor, the owner is a likely descendant of the I’m not racist, I’m a Democrat family tree. You know, those white liberals who are subliminally just as racist as the conservatives that they rally so hard against.

All 80’s and 90’s babies who grew up in Brooklyn can attest to the level of daily carnage that Crown Heights was once home to. This was not the only area plagued with violence and poverty. There was Bedstuy ‘do or die, Brownsville ‘never ran, never will, East New York, etc. We don’t need cultural tourists revisiting and trying to commodify that sadness, that ever-present dimness that casted such a wide net over these neighborhoods and their inhabitants.

This Saturday, residents are having an open forum outside of the establishment at 2:30PM to voice their distaste. Hopefully this will send a message to this johnny come lately that urban pain is not to be monetized, at least not this time.