Momma never told us there’d be days like this. Swiping right, twerking left…. it’s real in the dating field. Like somebody? That’s cool; just don’t let them know. Nobody wants someone who actually likes them. On the other hand, indifference is quite attractive. Something about knowing your not even a blip on the other person’s radar seems to sharpen the sword or get the river flowing.

There’s so many nuances to be mindful of in today’s dating landscape that it can be hard to keep track of them all. Following them on Instagram is expected but friending them on Facebook shows stalker tendencies. What if you start following the people who they’re following? Is that a breach of trust, no big deal or expected?

If you text back right away, you look thirsty but if you text back too late, you seem uninterested. In this hyper connected age of social media, dare I say everyone is talking to someone. That includes the folks with facial features resembling Chewbacca. So even though your ego has you inclined to think that your numero uno, your more like a bench player relieving one of the starting five.

Relationship wise, us millennials seem destined to be a generation of cat ladies and vagabonds who are more likely to share cold sores than compassion with prospective partners. Since bowing out of this rat race, I’ve taken time to sit back, watch and appreciate the comedic chaos that unfolds. Grab a beer, pull up a chair and join me.