For all you Big Willies out there, a new day is on the horizon. 

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has began pushing for smaller condom sizes, as studies show more than a full inch of disparity between current product measurements and what the “average Joe” is packing.

A study at Indiana University found the average corn dog to be 5.57 inches erect while the average prophylactic came in at 6.69 inches.

And now the burning questions…

  1. How many brothers were included in this survey? Based on it taking place in Indiana, I’m going to say not many. Black men generally don’t suffer from mini meat disease. Hell, sometimes it feels like our presumed sexual prowess is the only thing that we are celebrated for, which brings me to the next question.
  2. Wouldn’t we rather lead in something more redeemable? On a primitive level, being the “biggest” guy in the room evokes some sense of quasi victory. Outside of the sheets though, what are we doing? Leading in something like educational attainment or entrepreneurship seems more fulfilling over the long-term.

But since the concept of black privilege in any capacity is an oxymoron onto itself, should we just accept a win on any level?