THE WHITE SUPREMACIST STARTER KIT FOR WOMEN

Less than a month into the new year and white people have already started white peopleing.

Haley Barber; a foul-mouthed, future meth addict has gone viral for a surprising racist rant. This fine humanitarian attended the University of Alabama and was a member of the Alpha Phi sorority.

Now, it’s not surprising that a University of Alabama student says racist things because… hey, it’s Alabama.

What’s surprising though is that Ms. Haley Hitler found herself expelled from said university and sorority.

Her reasoning behind the rant was that she is no longer in her home state of New Jersey and is instead in the South, so she should be able to spew as many n words as she wants.

There goes that Silly Lilly logic again.

2018 surely has more racially tinged rants ‘in store so the next time some basic Becky goes bonkers, here’s a checklist to see if that white supremacist shoe fits.

  1. If she looks like she’s 40 when she’s only 19
  2. If she wears poop or tangerine colored tanner
  3. If she possesses ID from a flyover state (Alabama, Nebraska, etc.)
  4. If her first name is comically Caucasian (Haley, Erin, Morgan)
  5. Nonexistent lips